We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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