But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
