Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
