I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
