also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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