Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
