I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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