well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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