am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
