he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
