Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
