omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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