i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
