Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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