dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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