it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
