So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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