i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
