Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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