Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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