Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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