similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
