the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
