we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
