Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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