8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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