so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
