If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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