we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's the barista slut.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
jump out the window naked night went bad
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