MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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