i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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