The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
