Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
