I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
