your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
