Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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