U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize