when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
