the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
