Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
