I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
