video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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