We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
