I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
