Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
