so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
