you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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