Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
