I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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