I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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