we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize