Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
