i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
