I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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