haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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