I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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