Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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