So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
